Citizens' Daily Lobby

A Maryland-based non-profit consulting corporation has announced its intention to run for Maryland’s 8th Congressional seat.     In a press release, Murray Hill, Inc. announced its intention to run in the Republican primary.    The decision to run for office is based on the historic Citizens United v Federal Elections Commission decision of last month.

“Until now,” Murray Hill Inc. said in a statement, “corporate interests had to rely on campaign contributions and influence peddling to achieve their goals in Washington. But thanks to an enlightened Supreme Court, now we can eliminate the middle-man and run for office ourselves.”

Says the company, “It’s our democracy.  We bought it, we paid for it, and we’re going to keep it.”

To keep things legal, the corporation’s “designated human,” Eric Hensal, will carry out the necessary but antiquated “humans only” details, like signing forms and physically filing.  In a show of enthusiasm, Hensal says, ““We want to get in on the ground floor of the democracy market before the whole store is bought by China.”

The corporation plans to run an “an aggressive, historic campaign that ‘puts people second’ or even third.”  Campaign manager William Klein plans to use “automated robo-calls, “Astroturf” lobbying and computer-generated avatars” to get out the vote.

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